Sinus Infections suck!

I started feeling like crap the beginning of last week. I started pushing the vitamin C and drinking lots. By Friday I was exhausted, and by Monday I couldn't believe how sick I was. I really thought it was just a bad cold I had a horrible cough which isn't common for me. So, I went to the doctors yesterday morning and was given an antibiotic for a sinus infection. I can't believe how much better I feel today. It obviously wasn't just viral like I had originally though. Thank goodness I went to the doctors, last night my back molars were hurting me so bad I couldn't stand it. It's weird how all of that is connected. What a difference 24 hours makes. I'm certainly not 100% but, I'm well on my way!
How's everyone else feeling these days? It is so cold out today! Come on spring!!

My daughters debracing date is coming up in 13 days. I'm really happy for her, but so envious too! I can't wait to have no metal in my mouth. What a wonderful feeling that will be!!

What do you think??

My adjustment today was pretty minor. I still have to wear 1 elastic and he did a few minor tweaks.
I asked Kelly the Tech. if she had any idea how much longer. She left to ask Dr. Post and we agreed that if it was a long time she wouldn't share it with me. When she came back though, she was smiling. Dr. Post says at this point we are month to month. He'll do the little things he needs to and we'll just wait and see how cooperative my teeth are.
My daughter Kate has a debracing date of February 19th. I'm so excited for her! That will also be my next adjustment.
What do you think of my progress?

It's me...can you believe it?!?!

Wow, has it been a long time. Sorry.
I'm not really sure what happened myself but, the whole surgery thing consumed me. I think I was so worked up about being wired. Mentally, I was really trying to prepare myself for it and then BAM… it was cancelled. Don't get me wrong, I love the way my teeth are coming along. They look better than I ever thought they would. I still feel like I smile weird. It's just not "me". Whatever that is anymore. I still go and get my adjustments every month and never once have I asked about a debracing date. I would love to know, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I'm such a black and white person that when something gets told to me, it's hard for me to sway from that. Maybe that's why I've had such a hard time with this whole process. Nothing seems to ever be set in stone.
I don't regret for a minute that I did it though. When all of this metal finally comes out of my mouth, I'm sure I'll love my new look.
I've been trying to catch up on everyone's blogs. You are all very amazing people. I will try very hard not to disappear again.
I have an adjustment today. I'll post again after that and maybe add a long overdue photo.
I've missed you guys!!!

Sorry for the absence

Things have been a bit stressful lately and I've kind of gone into shutdown mode. Remember a bit back when I said I was having trouble with my tailbone. Well, they did a colonoscopy and after a few days of anxiously awaiting the results, things ended up okay. Then, they recommended a cat scan and after the nurse told me everything looked okay, I received a call several hours later at 5:20pm saying that in fact it wasn't okay. They found a spot on my hip that had them concerned. I had to have an MRI on Saturday. So since then, I have been staying home thinking the worst. Late yesterday afternoon, I finally received word that it was benign. Thank God!! I kept thinking in my head that my surgery must have been cancelled because I had bigger issues to tackle. It's funny what your mind can do to you.
A few years back, my niece was diagnosed with leukemia, and I was so strong. I took charge and researched, and did everything I needed to do to help her beat it. When it came to the unknown for me recently, I fell apart. Too much on my plate I guess.

As far as my teeth, I'm in a triangle elastic on my right side, helping to pull my bite a little more together. He did that last Wednesday. It hurt the first few days, but now I barely notice it.

I tried to catch up on a few of the blogs and am just amazed at how well all of you are doing. Holly… you look great! Rachel… what an incredible recovery you are having.

Karen, keep your chin up, my thoughts and prayers are with you!

I'll catch up with everyone else shortly, take care everyone!!

UNBELIEVABLE NEWS!!

I have such incredible news to share, I can't even believe it myself. I had my molds done at the orthodontist's office the other day. Yesterday, at 4:45 I received a call from the Ortho's office saying that Dr. Post had to meet with me before I left for vacation. I immediately felt the anxiety creeping in. We were originally going to schedule something for today but, after telling her I was feeling a little anxious about this meeting, she said I could come in for 5:15. So off we went.
Dr. Post said that he had really studied my molds that afternoon and felt very strongly that with a little patience and the correct tweaking with elastics, he feels he can accomplish what we set out to do without the second surgery. I can't even believe I am writing this!! I knew my bite had really been coming together but, I never ever expected this news. I am so incredibly relieved. It hasn't really even hit me yet. I still can't believe it. Dr. Post laughed and said that I should tell my blog friends that we had something telepathically going on. I had been worried about the surgery and that had been thinking about how to correct it without the surgery. He actually said that over the last few months he had been wondering in the back of his head what or if he could do this without surgery. It seems like every month the open bite just got smaller and smaller with each adjustment. He says the SARPE wasn't even a question but, just that has made a big difference in my bite.

NOW, I just need to get my head around all of this new news and RELAX!! Relieved doesn't even begin to tell you how I feel right now!!

Help!!!

Alright, I'm obsessing. I can't get it off my mind. It's consuming my every thought. I'm nervous. I remember very well how much pain I was in after the SARPE. I also know he'll be doing more this time. Just the thought of him screwing plates into my jaw and then wiring me shut, makes me sick. I feel like such a wimp. I want it done, I just don't want to go through all the pain and starvation to get there.
I had my cardiology appointment last Monday. I asked him how he recommended me taking my heart medication while I am wired. He says, "are you really going to be wired, like tightly wired?" Ah, yes! So, after thinking about it he would like me to try and fit it in the space behind my molars. If I need to cut it in half, that's okay too. I'm worried that trying to shove my fingers back there to slide a pill in after my jaw was just sawed, might not feel so good. I will ask but, I am sure my regular doctor will say the same thing about my thyroid medication and my birth control. Has anyone else had any experience with this??

I want my vacation to come quickly, I need the relaxing time at the ocean with my family BUT, I am not ready for surgery. Mentally, I just don't feel there yet. It's funny, if someone asked me a month ago, I would have said lets get it done as soon as possible. Now, with 3 weeks left, I feel sick.
I don't even know where this is coming from. I actually started this post back on the 11th and haven't been able to finish and post it.

This is so hard for me to write but, I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like every ache and pain I have must be something bad. I actually had a colonoscopy yesterday and the doctor took some biopsies. My mind has wandered off believing I must have something horrible. I feel like I need the results immediately. Has anyone ever felt so anxious about something, you find it hard to even concentrate?

I keep telling myself to relax and to breath but, I'm finding it very difficult. I haven't even been viewing my blog for fear of the inevitable.

What on earth is wrong with me? What I would give to be 6… 8 weeks post op. Help!!

Brave???

My Uncle commented to me last night that I was so brave for going ahead with this surgery. It seemed strange to me because, I certainly don't feel brave. I feel nervous. I feel like, I wish I didn't have to do it. I sat there really thinking about it. I feel like I don't really have a choice. If I want a normal bite, I have to do it. I know he meant it in the nicest way BUT, sometimes I wish people would understand that it's not just a quick decision I made so that I would look better. I would just like to be able to breath and chew like your average normal person.

34 more days.... yikes!!

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Next month...can you believe it!!!

I can officially say, my surgery is next month.
Part of me can't wait and the other part of me doesn't want it to come. You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you get when something big is about to happen….that's what I have going on. I'm feeling a little anxious. My youngest daughter, Kate, got a little teary eyed last night when we talked about me staying overnight in the hospital. My husband and I were talking about how poorly Holly was treated while she was there and I said, that he had better not leave me, because I don't want to go through that. So Kate asks, "if he stays with you, where will I go?" Poor thing. I told her that I would be fine and that Daddy and Grandma would make sure that one of them was always with her.

I started picking up a few things at the grocery store this weekend. I wanted to make sure I had plenty of broth in the house, to mix things with so they can go through the Zip & Squeeze bags. I got a couple of soups. I actually searched the web and came up with a few different pureed soup recipes that I would like to try so I can freeze in single portions, so that all we have to do is zap it in the microwave and pour it in the bags. Viola….dinner. Seems weird to be cooking soups this time of year. I guess a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do=)

Between softball games, a baby shower, graduation, birthdays and vacation this month, along with all of my appointments, I think it is going to fly by. I feel like I am so booked up. My girlfriends and I are trying to set up a small BBQ before I go in for surgery and it just doesn't seem to be happening.

Anyway, I hope Holly, Heather and Leah are all feeling great and back to normal in no time!! My thoughts are with all of you!!

Newest Pics

Here's the lastest

I'm feeling a little emotional today. I just feel the need to tell you all once again how amazing you are! Just when I need a boost, you all seem to come and say just the right things! Thank you!!
Does anyone ever wonder if we'll ever meet? So many of you have made such an incredible impact on my life, that I wonder sometimes if I'll ever come face to face with any of you. Hmmm… I hope so!!

Now on to Ortho. news:

I had a regular adjustment this morning. My teeth are already hurting so, whatever he did… it's working!
I told him about my thoughts on scheduling the upcoming appointments. We were both pretty much on the same page so, that made me feel better. As more and more gets scheduled, I get a little more excited and also a little more anxious. You know, the surgery part doesn't bother me at all. It's still that whole wired shut thing I can't seem to get off my mind. Breath……..

So my appointments look like this:

June 16: Blood work (lab appt.)
June 17: Surgical Molds
June 20: EKG and Pre-Op Physical
June 28 - July 5th: VACATION
July 7: Pre-Op Hospital Interview
July 9: Surgical Spurs placed
July 10: Appt. with Dr. Weldon (OS) He wanted to see me after he received the molds and after the surgical spurs were placed.
July 11: Surgery

I am thinking that with all of these appointments and with everything else I have going on, (my daughter plays softball and with the school year coming to an end) I'll bet time is going to fly by.
I'll have to post some new pics, I decided to go with the hot pink ligs today!!

I'm looking forward to a nice long 3 day weekend. My husband took the whole weekend off. We haven't had a weekend off together in a very long time. Between his work and mine, we wake up to an alarm clock 7 days a week. Not this weekend!!!!

I hope you all enjoy your weekend too!!

Another adjustment and a little self doubt

I have another adjustment tomorrow morning. I think at that time, I'll have to set up my appointments for molds and to have my surgical hooks put on. My OS says it takes about 2 weeks before he usually gets the molds so. I'm thinking, to be on the safe side, I'll try to schedule those sometime around the week of June 9th. Then, what I'm not exactly sure about is whether to have the surgical hooks put on before vacation or after? My ideal plan would be to have then placed on July 8th. The OS wants to see me before surgery but, after the hooks are in. So, I was thinking I could try and see him on the 9th and then my surgery is on the 11th. Do you think that's cutting things too close to surgery time?? It's tough, because I'm away on vacation from June 28th until July 6th so there's a week there that I'm unable to use. I guess I'll figure it out.

I have a question for all of you though. Something's really weighing on me and I have to ask you all if you have experienced it too.
Lately, I find that after people find out I'm having another surgery, they look at my teeth and ask why. Now mind you, since my SARPE, my teeth really do look so much better. It really is amazing. When I smile, they look pretty good. What they can't/don't see is that I still can't bite. I have a hard time chewing so many things. I find it hard to explain to someone that doesn't deal with it on a daily basis. I try and open my mouth and bite back down, trying to show them that my teeth just don't meet. I'm sure I look like an idiot but, I try so hard to explain to them why and they still just look at me like you are going to have your jaw broken to fix that??
So, not only am I wondering if you deal with people like that but, do you ever start to doubt your decision??
My husband keeps telling me that we've come this far, we're not stopping now. I just find myself getting a little anxious lately and questioning myself. I think it was almost easier going into the SARPE, not having any idea what to expect.
Well thanks for letting me get a few things off my chest. I'll post again tomorrow after my appointment to let you know how it went. Thanks everyone!

Another call~but wait... it's all good!

Candy from the Oral Surgeon's office called me again this morning. I saw it on the caller ID, and I immediately felt panic.
All is good though. She said she wanted to call and share a little good news with me. Finally! She said she received a call from the assisting physician's office, he IS available on July 11th. She seemed to feel that for some reason, everything is falling into place much better on this day. So, at this point in time... the 11th looks really good. I won't ever say it's a definite though!

I'm not sure if I should speak the date....

After a very long weekend and a few more phone calls today, I finally got my surgery date scheduled. As of right now, it looks like it will be... July 11th. Only 4 days later than expected, but still extremely frustrating to have to go through this!
I'm really hoping this date is a sure thing! I feel a little bit better about it because, the hospital just called me to set up my pre-op appt. already. This was actually a little strange because they actually called me before Candy at the OS's office did. So, I called her immediately and asked her if this date was a done deal because the hospital was trying to set up my pre-op. She said it definitely was, and that she just hadn't had a minute to call me yet. (I am so sure she is sick of talking to me) So my pre-op is set for July 7th at 8:30 (the same day I was supposed to have surgery, go figure)
I changed my countdown clock and we begin again!
Thank you all for standing by me!!

Spoken too soon

I just received a call (actually 3) from Candy at my Oral Surgeon's office. She tells me that she has been arguing with the hospital because, I guess on Wednesday she received a call from them telling her that the O.R. was already booked on July 7th. That another oral surgeon got his booking sheet in before them and that he needs it for 6 hours. She tells me that she argued with him and said that they have 3 other operating rooms, but he said there is nothing he could do and that his supervisor was out until Monday.
Her only other option/thought, was that we could book it on Friday the 11th (the hospital has an opening that day) and move Dr. Weldon's regular patients to Saturday morning. At this point, I don't care what they do... they need to get me in that week!! There are two of us that do loans at work and the woman I work with will be out the last week in July and the first two weeks in August. So, Friday the 11th would be the last time I could do it and have enough time afterwards to recoup before having to go back to work.
I guess I spoke too soon didn't I?
I am supposed to hear from them today to have a little bit better of an idea as to what is happening. Please give me strength!!

Hallelujah

My Insurance letter came in the mail on Friday!!! I never read the letter my Oral Surgeon sent to them but, I know it was just a matter of a few weeks ago. Harvard Pilgrim has truly been wonderful during this whole thing. It says I have been approved for:

Reconstruct Midface, Lefort

Prepare Face/Oral Prosthesis

I’m not sure in Insurance terms what exactly it means but, as long as it says the Lefort is covered, I’m good. Things seem to be moving in a positive direction lately. It feels good.

I still have moments when I get a little anxious about being wired shut. Someone posted a comment saying that while she was wired, she carried around cutters just for peace of mind. Maybe I’ll do the same thing. I know it’s all in my head; it just makes me nervous still. One reason why I think I feel this way is because I’m a mouth breather. It freaks me out a little bit to think I won’t be able to get enough air. I know, I know… all in my head.

OR… what if I have to throw up?? I remember doing this after the SARPE!!

Right now, I just can’t wait to be on the other side!

I haven’t really been watching what I eat lately. I keep telling myself that I mine as well eat while I can. I probably won’t fit into any of my summer clothes the week before surgery while I’m on vacation. lol

I have been walking a lot more lately. I want to try and be really fit and healthy when I go in this time. Maybe it will make a difference, maybe it won’t, but I figure it can’t hurt.

Work has been really good too, I was originally only planning on taking a week off just like the SARPE but, the OS said I need a minimum of two weeks. So, I won’t return until July 21^st. They’ve been letting me bank some comp. time so I won’t have to use all of my vacation time up.

I was a little surprised the Ortho. didn’t want to see me sooner, I don’t go again until May 20^th. At that time, I’ll have to set up the final appointments for molds and surgical hooks. The OS wants to see me with my new molds and hooks prior to me going on vacation.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that everything continues to go smoothly!!

BIG NEWS!!

Last week I called the OS's office a few times (okay, maybe more than a few and I am sure they got sick of hearing from me) to see if they had decided anything. Finally, on Friday I spoke with Jamie and she told me that Dr. Weldon would like to see me on Monday at 12:30. He was meeting with Dr. Post over the weekend and looking at my molds. I was so anxious all weekend wondering what he would say.
I guess the plan was for him to look at my bite, do some measurements, make a determination about exactly what would need to be done and then decide if he could do it on the 7th on his own or push it out until August and have an assisting physician available.
Well, before we left, he stated that it was a pretty straight forward surgery, similar cuts that were made for the SARPE. He said it would be a 1 piece Lefort, he will lower the maxilla and shave some of the bone above it and then try and replace it with plates and screws Jaime, his assistant, said that this is my "big surgery." He also said that he was very comfortable doing it on his own!
So… July 7th is still the day!

BUT… now we get to the scary part…
I might have to be wired shut... for 2 to 6 weeks! OMG! I'm already having a panic attack just thinking about it. My immediate response was, you didn't have to do that after my SARPE, why this time? His response was that during the SARPE he wasn't trying to match up my top jaw with my bottom one. He said that if I remembered correctly, during the SARPE, after he made the cuts, my maxilla just fell. He had to put these wires up through my maxilla to keep it stable. He says that I have very thin bones and he wants to make certain that everything heals properly. Also, because of my thin bone issue, ww don't know how well the plates and screws will hold so, keeping me wired while everything heals will help everything stay where it needs to.
So….. all of you wired people… I need to hear from you!! Just the thought makes me feel claustrophobic.
He said he may or may not keep the splint in. He'll use one to line things up but, he'll determine during surgery whether to keep it in or not.
He also said that I would be in ICU for 1 maybe 2 days. That freaks me out a little bit too. I'm excited things are moving forward yet a little scared too.
Now's the time for me to get really healthy. I've been fighting off that cold so many of you are talking about since last Thursday. It just doesn't seem to want to go away.

So, 10 1/2 weeks until vacation and 11 1/2 weeks until surgery, I can do this! The cottage we are renting in Maine sleeps 10 people. My husband and I and our 2 girls will go up on June 28th and spend until Thursday alone and then on Thursday some of my family will join us so we can celebrate July 4th with all of them, right on the beach. They will stay 2 nights. All of us have never been away together. It should be hectic but fun. I'm sure it will help keep my mind off my surgery, at that time, it will only be days away.

The real countdown begins… I hope I end up having some surgery buddies!!

This is "Pal"

The first one is on the ride home. He was checking everything out for about the first half hour and then he slept the rest of the way (1 1/2 hours). When we got home, he ate, checked the place out and then fell back to sleep in Kate's arms. He had a long day!

No confirmed date yet

Okay, so I talked to Candy a couple more times and Mary at the Ortho's office (who actually seemed a little annoyed with me) and this is what I've been told. Dr. Weldon (the OS) wants to see the latest molds so he can decide how in depth the surgery will be. If he feels it is something he can do on his own without an assisting physician, then he'll go ahead and keep it scheduled on July 7th. If he feels he really needs him then, we'll have to pick a new date. So, it's the hurry up and wait game right now. Candy left on vacation for a week today so, I'm hoping I don't get lost in the shuffle over there… I just feel like I deserve an answer on this, ASAP!

On a happier note, things have warmed up a little and our new kitten was able to board his flight this morning. We are hoping to have him in our possession by 3:00 today… fingers crossed! If everything goes well, I'll post a picture of the little guy.

Hopefully the next time I write, it will be with good news all around!

This can't be happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I called the OS's office this morning to see if they received the "go ahead" letter from my Ins. Co. yet and Candy tells me that Jaime is busy but, she'll look in my file to see where we were at. She then proceeds to tell me, that a call has been put into the Ortho. to see if we can do the surgery on June 23rd. Are you f***ing kidding me???? I then tried to calmly explain to her that I leave to go on vacation from June 28th - July 5th…the vacation I planned so early on in the summer because, THEY scheduled my surgery for the 7th! She said that the assisting physician that Dr. Weldon likes to work with is unavailable for July 7th. Wonder when they were going to tell me?
So, she said she would get back to me after she spoke to Jaime. Then I get a message (I stepped out of my office for a minute) stating that the 14th, and the 21st weren't any good either.

I called her back and just as I start to speak, I start crying. I try to explain to her that this is my life they are screwing with and that maybe I need to speak to the doctor. I tried to tell her that my "summer vacation" deposit for my cottage was sent already and scheduled around this date they gave me, that the following week was scheduled at work for me to be out, that my mother also took the week off to help out, that my physical and EKG were already scheduled. She apologized and I understand it's not her fault but, I would think that as soon as they found out about this, they should have called me immediately! I find it funny that I only found out after I called them.
So… she said she would call back again after she spoke with the doctor. I'm sure at this point there is nothing they can do. I just don't understand why I can't seem to get this surgery set in stone.

I'm sure one of the reasons I was so upset was because, we had been looking for a particular kitten for quite a while. (we have 1 already and love the breed) So, right before Christmas I found a lady in Nova Scotia that was going to be having a litter in January. So, after they were born, she forwarded pictures and we picked out our new kitten. It would be ready to go March 17th. So, we started planning a trip to go get him but, found out that the ferry we would catch in Portland, Maine doesn't start running again until May. So then we decided to buy him a plane ticket. Then, we were told that they don't allow "live cargo" on board until April 1st. Not a huge deal, so the breeder booked his flight for the 1st. We were all set to leave for the airport yesterday afternoon and I get an e-mail from her saying that she was missing one piece of paperwork for customs and that they wouldn't let her board him. So, they schedule him for a flight this morning. So this morning, we get up at 5:00am to head to the airport, which is 2 hours away, and I get another call from her. The airline thought it was a little cold this morning for him to fly so… we had to turn around AGAIN. We're now shooting for Friday morning. I'm tired and grumpy and can't for the life of me figure out why everything seems so difficult for me right now. I know it's not all life altering stuff I am complaining about, and I am very lucky to have a wonderful healthy husband and great healthy kids. I'm just getting discouraged. I have been doing really well lately keeping my chin up. But man…how much can a girl take.
Sorry for my ranting and my language above, I just needed to get this off my chest! I'll keep you all posted. I keep thinking that maybe this 2nd surgery isn't in the cards for me.

More progress!!!

Okay, I went to see the Ortho. this afternoon to get my wires removed for my cleaning and to fix my TPA problem. (see last post) So, when I arrived, Dr. Post immediately came over to remove my wires. Then he said he had to remove the back left band and solder a part on a new one for the TPA to fit in. OUCH, that band did not want to come out. As he was twisting and yanking, I kept thinking… is my tooth coming out with it??? Next he removed the bottom wire and while doing so, he popped off a bracket. So he had Heather come over and put the new band back on and had her prep the tooth to replace the bracket.

Next, I went off to my cleaning. She said I was the third adult in braces for her today. I find this so weird because I very rarely run into any adults in braces. Wish I would though. Anyways, she said I was doing a great job with my cleaning. That made me feel really good because I do try.

Now, back at the Ortho. office, Dr. Post tweaks my wires before he puts them back in. This surprised me because I was only there a few weeks ago. I’m in favor of any tweaking though. Then, he starts to put my TPA back in and the part he just soldered on breaks off again. He says “you win, we’ll keep it out.” WOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! He says that the wire on top is so strong, it should prevent anything from relapsing. I am so happy, it feels incredible to be able to feel the full rounded roof of my mouth. I definitely feel like I speak more clearly without it too.

I’m going to try and post a pic I fiddled with in paint. I’m not great at all of this stuff but, I was hoping to point out to you the things that still bother me. My midlines are off a little and I still have that tiny triangle gap in between my two front teeth but, the thing that bothers me most is the “open bite” on either side of my front teeth. I know my open bite has closed considerably but I can’t figure out how he’ll close the openings on either side. Maybe the surgery will correct this.

Dr. Post also told me that he spoke with Dr. Weldon’s office and that July 7^th is a definite! The countdown begins. Right now, it seems like a long time away but, I’ll bet it will be here before I know it. It’s time to get healthy and start exercising regularly! Hopefully everything is still a GO with the Ins. Co.