Alright, I'm obsessing. I can't get it off my mind. It's consuming my every thought. I'm nervous. I remember very well how much pain I was in after the SARPE. I also know he'll be doing more this time. Just the thought of him screwing plates into my jaw and then wiring me shut, makes me sick. I feel like such a wimp. I want it done, I just don't want to go through all the pain and starvation to get there.
I had my cardiology appointment last Monday. I asked him how he recommended me taking my heart medication while I am wired. He says, "are you really going to be wired, like tightly wired?" Ah, yes! So, after thinking about it he would like me to try and fit it in the space behind my molars. If I need to cut it in half, that's okay too. I'm worried that trying to shove my fingers back there to slide a pill in after my jaw was just sawed, might not feel so good. I will ask but, I am sure my regular doctor will say the same thing about my thyroid medication and my birth control. Has anyone else had any experience with this??
I want my vacation to come quickly, I need the relaxing time at the ocean with my family BUT, I am not ready for surgery. Mentally, I just don't feel there yet. It's funny, if someone asked me a month ago, I would have said lets get it done as soon as possible. Now, with 3 weeks left, I feel sick.
I don't even know where this is coming from. I actually started this post back on the 11th and haven't been able to finish and post it.
This is so hard for me to write but, I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like every ache and pain I have must be something bad. I actually had a colonoscopy yesterday and the doctor took some biopsies. My mind has wandered off believing I must have something horrible. I feel like I need the results immediately. Has anyone ever felt so anxious about something, you find it hard to even concentrate?
I keep telling myself to relax and to breath but, I'm finding it very difficult. I haven't even been viewing my blog for fear of the inevitable.
What on earth is wrong with me? What I would give to be 6… 8 weeks post op. Help!!