Monday, May 19, 2008

Another adjustment and a little self doubt

I have another adjustment tomorrow morning. I think at that time, I'll have to set up my appointments for molds and to have my surgical hooks put on. My OS says it takes about 2 weeks before he usually gets the molds so. I'm thinking, to be on the safe side, I'll try to schedule those sometime around the week of June 9th. Then, what I'm not exactly sure about is whether to have the surgical hooks put on before vacation or after? My ideal plan would be to have then placed on July 8th. The OS wants to see me before surgery but, after the hooks are in. So, I was thinking I could try and see him on the 9th and then my surgery is on the 11th. Do you think that's cutting things too close to surgery time?? It's tough, because I'm away on vacation from June 28th until July 6th so there's a week there that I'm unable to use. I guess I'll figure it out.

I have a question for all of you though. Something's really weighing on me and I have to ask you all if you have experienced it too.
Lately, I find that after people find out I'm having another surgery, they look at my teeth and ask why. Now mind you, since my SARPE, my teeth really do look so much better. It really is amazing. When I smile, they look pretty good. What they can't/don't see is that I still can't bite. I have a hard time chewing so many things. I find it hard to explain to someone that doesn't deal with it on a daily basis. I try and open my mouth and bite back down, trying to show them that my teeth just don't meet. I'm sure I look like an idiot but, I try so hard to explain to them why and they still just look at me like you are going to have your jaw broken to fix that??
So, not only am I wondering if you deal with people like that but, do you ever start to doubt your decision??
My husband keeps telling me that we've come this far, we're not stopping now. I just find myself getting a little anxious lately and questioning myself. I think it was almost easier going into the SARPE, not having any idea what to expect.
Well thanks for letting me get a few things off my chest. I'll post again tomorrow after my appointment to let you know how it went. Thanks everyone!

7 comments:

Heather said...

Hi Michelle, first off thanks for the support you've given me these past few days. And right now I'm the Queen of Self Doubt! I keep telling myself it was worth it, but the pain is sooo bad...but you know what? that's what makes us human to have doubts and then talk ourselves through things. I know I did the right thing. I think you're on the right track. And don't worry about explaining to other people why you can't eat properly (they don't realize what it's like not to be able to bite into their food properly); you don't need to justify why you are doing this to them.

Katherine (Kate) said...

A wise person always reminds me (Mother-in-law, actually!) if you don't ask, you've got "no" already :) So, when it comes to scheduling all your pre-Op appointments you might as well try for what's going to work best for you. I'm sure it will boil down to the OS's calendar, but after the numerous hassles they've put you through, maybe nows the time for smooth sailing...wouldn't that be a treat?!

Ah, the steady stream of input from the 'peanut gallery'. You bet I know what you're talking about. I know it's hard to just ignore them, as often it's from people you run into on a regular basis or even extended family, and like it or not we humans tend to care what others think of us (and by extension, our decision making capabilities)...and we want people to support us as this is a HUGE decision!

Perhaps a KISS ~Keep It Simple(FOR the) Stupids ~heehee!~ approach would be best. Tell them this is the second stage of the Health Plan your team of Doctors and yourself decided upon, a neccessary part of ensuring the long term stability & function of your bite, jaws and joints....period...and change the subject to ward off further scrutiny. (eg: "Soooo, I see you're eating carbs again..." I'm a meanie!)

This is just all my personal opion, & you CAN tell me to bugger off & shut the yap any time you want :) You KNOW why you're doing this, Michelle. Think back to how this whole proccess started for you in the first place and the reasons you decided to pursue this route. What motivated you? Gave you hope? What did you want to see and feel when it's all over? THAT'S why you're doing this !

I wish I could give you a big hug. You are always faithful in being an encouragement to all of us...You're a strong woman who's had her share of hurddles. You're allowed to have doubts. The good part? Tomorrow's another day, and if it sucks, too, there's a new one coming up right behind it :)

stephanie said...

I second all of what wise ol' Katherine said. I often have people asking me questions about braces - and I've completely stopped talking about jaw surgery to strangers, or even not-close friends because of all the questions and disbelief (or, the comparisons to wisdom teeth that we've all had).

WE understand. Just keep talking to us, and we'll give you all the support you need. You deserve to be able to chew your food and have a normal bite. Even if your teeth do look great :)

bridget said...

You said it best yourself, Michelle! When people ask why, just keep it simple: I can't chew correctly. It's a functional problem. A girl's gotta eat!

When I had a slightly smarter audience and/or a longer time to reply, I'd mention something about the wear on the jaw joints and the awful things looming in my future if I didn't have the surgery, but most of the time I just kept it to: "Eating is important." I mean, everyone can relate to that. Don't feel the need to demonstrate: you and your doctors know it backwards and forwards and no one else needs any more intimate knowledge than you choose to divulge to them.

Tara said...

WOW, it's getting close! How exciting. I would say if you can wait until then to get your hooks, wait! I had mine on for over 3 months before my surgery. NOT FUN. They aren't that bad, once my mouth of used to them, but I would have liked to have waited some (surgery date changed, and the hooks were already on. But you know ALL about dates changing!).

As far as explaining things to people, I went throught the same thing just this weekend. Unless you have to live with the pain in your jaws and not being able to properly chew your food, you just don't get it. And even if people think it's for cosmetic reasons, so what? Would you ask someone who's getting implants or a nose job "Why"? No, you just let them do what they think they need to do. Some people can be so unsensitive and not very understanding. Good luck, and know that we all know what you are dealing with on a daily basis and we all think it's the right decision to have the surgery(s)! Keep your head up, and don't let those other people doubt yourself!

Shontelly said...

Man, you don't have to explain to anyone!! I SO know what your talking about, though. I got to a point where I just said "COS I JUST AM!" "Leave me alone assholes!" HA!

nabukay said...

Hi Michelle,

The ortho club is right. At the end of the day its about you and what will make you feel good about yourself. There is no way you are not doing the right thing. Also have you ever noticed how many people out there have terrible teeth? There are sooooo many, without knowing. The point is don't have any regrets, you did the right thing.